NeVeR In MoDeRaTiOn

Im feeling very jealous... Of myself.

I read my previous posts and realized... where did this boy go? Where have I been? Has the wind taken me far enough that I have forgotten? Did I really write all that?

And I envy dedication to writing of some people and itll be my foolishness wondering to be like them. Time does have a way of sweeping you up- the difference is recognzing when and how and why. Upon coming back down- your perspective is always different. Isnt life so weird and beautiful at the same time?

I do love to write. It seems natural for me to write everyday without heistation. I feel as though once I stop writing- I stop have a lust for knowledge and the desire to learn becomes somehow less. I fail to notice the things that I would normally write about. I fail to notice the culture and life around me as I used to ..-- because writing is truly a vehicle of expressing that which you cannot put into everyday talk. I dont want to just become part of the mundane everyday existance but I thrive being on the outside looking in. What Im trying to say is- writing allows me look at the world in a different light. Because I know that later on, I can document it all.. put it in symbols and words that I wouldnt have usually come up with if I didnt have the anticipation to come home and write about it.

Okay thats enough writing about writing. You get my drift.

Months gone by, and again I sit here wondering how it all happened. Where am I going. Where is this world taking me. Is is really up to me to propel it? Or am I still waiting on some miracle to just fall in my lap?

Wake up calls all around me. I often feel I am in a constant daze. Maybe I am not drinking enough coffee.

CrIsIs Of FaItH....

Here is something I wrote yesterday when i was asked to write some article for my kollege news letter:

Life is a big mystery. Been feeling inspired lately and cant shake the questions. - If there were no life or existance, What is there? What is the point of it all? to serve God? If so- What does God Want? To be a good person to yourself and to others? ...Then why is it that not everyone can follow the same rules of a dogmatic religion? Its impossible. We are all created with individual characteristics, heritage, genes, and circumstances. How is it that we are all supposed to follow one formula? It doesnt make logical sense. I was brought up to always think there are rules and guidelines as to how to be a successful person on this journey called life. I was always told how I was to function in order to secure success. I always struggled with trying to make myself believe... But Belieiveing is also, Hard to believe.

Where does ones beliefs derive? From whcih ever they do. are they universal? -- regardless of whatever is worldly attached to that person?

I want to go with the easy answer to what I have always known. To learn about the techings of the prophets in Christianity, and to just read the Bible. So my heart can find rest. Yet- there are so many questions.

At some point, one must choose to believe in something- but if that belief doesnt adhere to a specific religion , does that mean that person is doomed to hell? God cannot be a cruel creator, we are his creations, yet we have the choice. The "free will" etc......We are not the ultimate judges, I suppose.

It is a persons choice to look outside themselves and find whatever it is they are looking for. We cannot be force fed a prescription medication. A one way ticket.

Diversity is what makes us human. Its what makes culture. We ALL have a story to tell. Without that story, life would be fruitless/hum drum.

Without all the things that human beings latch onto to give us an identity we are no body. Its like the movie about the boy who goes into the wild and leaves all his belongings and family behind him. In the end he found that Happiness is not real unless it is shared.

Those things are important. And the balance of the material, physical, metaphysical etc. is essential to our discovery about the journey that we are all destined to take., to live.

To say that worldly things are meaningless is ignorant. It is a cop out for the immature person who wants to take the easy way out. – Whichever way it would suit him or her. Those things would not exist if they were not important for our growth. Everything has a purpose? A reason?

The human capacity to THINK, FEEL, ACT, CREATE, AND TRANSFORM is immense. We are all given that ability. The proof lies with in a physical cat scan of our brain. And- we only really use a small part of it.

Sit on it.

Chao for now

DeStInAtIoN...

I had a dream a very long time ago that this would happen.I cant explain the exact details, but something tells me that this was all known, and meant to be.I remember vaguely where I was, and how unexpected the whole scene was. No one knew what to say, but I was incredibly happy. It didn't matter to me that others would be shocked or surprised at what they found out to be my destiny. They soon realize they had to accept it as reality.

The world doesn't always turn and work the way we imagine it to be when we are young. Almost every one of you can look back on the past five years and never expect that anything you thought at the time, would turn out completely different. All of our decisions and delusions change based on the way the world moves us. We can never, ever predict it- or control it entirely. The small choices we make each day turn into the status of your life- right now. Is the divine really involved. Who really knows anyway,Faith.

My head has a numbing feeling inside it, that will not shake with rest. Its the brink of intensity. The feeling you get when you know your mind has had just about enough. At some point, it will come crashing down. Into you... or into someone else. In their arms, or via technology. What would we do without our individual and unique coping mechanisms? I'm sure we can all learn from each other. No one can do it all alone.

In the movie, INTO THE WILD, the hero realizes in the end- Happiness is not real until it is shared.Whatever mine or your circumstance, I hope there will always be people in your life that will be happy for you, and with you.

TrAnSpIrE

When your heart is heavy. the material doesnt matter.
the metaphysical takes over. the spirit world manifests in reality.
when your heart is so full of love that you dont know where to turn, or what to do with it. -when your mind is so consumed. you become like a drone in the rest of the worlds mundane movements.
when you would do anything to satisfy the needs, or heal the pain, or comfort a soul, when loving becomes more than you can handle. when emotional strife is an understatement. when longing becomes sleeplessness, when feeling becomes too hard... too much...
we move.slowly.
we ignore. we exist, we try to subsist. frivolities , meaninglessness. sleeplessness.
it will haunt you. dont ignore, give it a face. look in the mirror- who do I want to be? Give in.
too many times we are distracted. too often we forget the purpose., the consequences. each little step today, makes a huge mark tomorrow. one month . one year. 20 years.
Just ask yourself.
make noise, commotion if need be. have people talking. this is your life. your love. your passion.

Students Life....?

is there anyhting like a "student life".LoL i still cant digest the mistake made by mates in ECS class and added, i wonder the stupidity ofthe faculty dealing it.I was in obnubilation when my turn came:"What's there to view on a wrong topic" i said this to myself and went on to the dias,I was there exactly for 45 seconds on the dias where i dint mind what iam?.Thee is an other word 'influence' adding to the mistake in the title

SO here i go ,the title of the topic"The Student Life is Influenced by:Parents?,friends?,teachers?"
The views shared by mates ar not bad at the same wayi cant agree with the topic they are rolling on!!.

Life:the roller coaster between the birth and death.Yeah!,Thers only one life for a man thats too easy to partition .It includes childhood,teenage,adult,senior citizen combinely called as Life.During this proces of living You are a STUDENT thorugh out your Life:YOu learn to eat,drink,walk,run and everything. its all the factor of learn ...learn... learn...so it is little goosy and completely flawed aspect.Its our adaptivity to refer a person who's in school, Kollege and university as student but don't you think it is wrong to extremity.

The persons of age from 1-15 is preliminary learners and after that the kollege Goers and then lively hood earners.

this is the fact...got it folks?