Jealousy

it's one thing that's hard to keep out of a relationship. especially when we were hurt once or even more from our previous relationships. so how is it to heal this particular sickness that usually causes relationship to end? if the answer is moving on, i've passed that. if the answer is time, it's been long enough but this feeling still comes and goes. i hate this feeling yet i've found no conclusion to not feel it every time it struck. truth is i hate being jealous all the time. it trully isn't healthy at all. ( jealousy exhausts heart) i feel so guilty because jealousy doesnt only hurt us, but it may also hurt the other participants. at the end, I'm finally out of words. because until this day, i'm still traumatized and haunted by most of my past relationships. therefore i just want to say i'm sorry if my jealousy ever hurt anybody, and i dedicate this song especially to 'you'. i'm sorry, but i can't help myself, i guess i still havent succeeded overcoming my fears of getting hurt or cheated again. i hope you'll understand how hard it is for me to forget all of my bad memories, and i hope you do notice that even though sometimes i still can be control by my jealousy, that behind all that i truly am trying the best i can to heal.

3 days I've waited
for your answer, love
every moment i hope
there's a miracle inside of you
how beautiful the past
scratch by my anger
jealousy exhausts heart
desolation now tortures me


come back, love
dont decide to leave me
even though i often hurt you
but you're the only one in my heart
oo.. forgive me
oo.. forgive my ego
oo.. forgive me

GrOwInG Up

as i walk alone this lonely street
with nothing but naked feet
through paths that was enchanting once
now i cant even see what it was
once felt so fun from every side
suddenly it all just died


i still can remember being young
being doctors til punks
learning from crawling to walking
my first splashing til swimming

where have gone all the good memories
when all we do was all about parties
eagerly to feel what the future held
now all i do is trying to sleep well on my bed


heavy burdens comes greater each day
my teenage years about to fade away
i used to dream being mature
playing dress up haute coutoure
now i stand alone with my two feet
walking independently through this street


i still can remember being young
being doctors til punks
learning from crawling to walking
my first splashing til swimming

where have gone all the good memories
when all we do was all about parties
eagerly to feel what the future held
now all i do is trying to sleep well on my bed