ThE FaMe Of WhAt Is BaD?

As a freshman in school conformity was highly important. At the time I was unaware that I was conforming to peer pressure, I was sure that I was just doing what I wanted to do. The music I listened to, the clothes I chose to wear, those were my choices. Today, of course, I know that I was simply fitting in, being part of the group, seeking acceptance.

There were four couples in the crowd I ran with. We were all steadies. haritha, Indhu ,naveen and I would not have been caught at school wearing anything but Levi's. The most important feature of the Levi's was the roll on the leg. It took a long time to roll each leg in a very tiny fold. You had to have your shirt collar turned up and never would we have forgotten to roll our short sleeves up-very carefully.

Another rage was polished cotton slacks. Particularly, black in color with a tiny belt at the center of the back. (What was that for?) And v-neck sweaters were quite popular.

Indhu, Haritha and glory conformed with mid-calf skirts with lots of petty coats. Saddle oxfords and heavy white bobby socks completed their attire

The six of us had a lot of fun together that year. If there wasn't an event to attend or a holiday in the month (January is a real drag), we created a special occasion so that we could have a party. Most of the parties took place at haritha's flat--she was my steady girl. For these parties we had matching outfits. They boys wore their black polished slacks with white shirts under our red v-neck sweaters. The girls dressed identically with the exception of their black polished cotton skirts.

We conformed, but we said it was "our idea." We had a lot of fun. After our freshman year we went our separate ways. But in our junior year and again as senior we all went to the Prom together. We stayed until midnight our junior year. We had heard that a new restaurant in adyar was open very late and was serving Italian food. Some in the group had heard that they had pizza. I did not even know what pizza was. Was it delicious that first time I had it! That mozzarella cheese was strange. I'd never tasted it before.

We left the prom early our senior year and i went my way to schooling in chittoor. It was a cold night with fog covering ans it was quite impossible to ask the driver to handle the car. With six of us packed in my parent's 56 Mercury it soon became impossible to view the movie. It didn't matter, there was lost of joking and laughter. I believe we all understood that this was the last time we would be together. It was our final opportunity to recall the incidants, the good times, the learning together. We would someday reflect on cold play music, on Rick Nelson's and the innocence of his youth.

The tragic direction that their lives would take and their deaths were unknown to us at that time.You knoe who?

Conformists? Yes we were(not to put pseud folks!!). Why? We learn to conform in order to protect ourselves. To stand with your own opinion can be a frightening thing-downright dangerous at times. In a positive sense, we must conform in order to accomplish things for the good of all. There's nothing wrong in that. It is necessary. Therefore, peer pressure is good for it teaches us to become discerning individuals. It sharpens our skills in discrimination. We become better at evaluating situations. We lean to make decisions. So from a positive viewpoint peer pressure in school should have a beneficial outcome.

For some, however, those who fail to see its benefits, it has negative consequences. They become sheep, they learn to simply follow the crowd(no exception in my case for choosing the gtaduate course). They become afraid to act on their own. They become afraid of having any opinion except that expressed by others. They have failed to understand that those things which we did like everyone else in school, were not always the best things to do, that the other person does not always have the right opinion.

Recently while reading I came across a passage that reminded me of the importance of drawing conclusions from my experiences, of the importance of deciding what I should thing and do based upon my decisions-decisions made after I carefully discerned all the information. In Arthur Schopenhauer's second volume of The World as Will and Representation he meant that

Ordinary minds show, even in the smallest affairs, a want of confidence in their own judgment, just because they know from experience that it is of no use to them. With them prejudice and following the judgment of others take its place. In this way they are kept in a state of permanent nonage (immaturity), from which scarcely one in many hundreds is free from bondage. Naturally this is not acknowledged, for even to themselves they seem to judge; yet all the time they are casting glance(hidden motives) at the opinion of others,

As adults we must put aside our childish ways. We must evaluate the statements of others. We must become discerning individuals. we shld follow "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

hmmm....sorry if you felt bored and bemused

DiMnIsHiNg....

Ascending I look down upon the lucid dream I leave behind the division of thought that evolved two suns echoing throughout all world fragments of life.

Separation of being from flesh I transcend back to thought.

The origin of all, Subconsciousness...

Ancient memories Re-emerge

To be lost again, to discover that I am Self

To see behind the shadows of illusion from within the earths.

I touch the heavens reflecting opposite thought

They speak to me, words of vast illusions, the inner and outer worlds, all mirroring creation

Containing all in existence, infinite worlds of relative energies

Intricate balance of oppositions, repeating patterns of complex detail

And self variation

Infinitely

And I am the essence

Engulfed in the light

Universe through unity, all memories diminished.