The Rest Is Unwritten...

Chapter1: The Beginning

Though the moon clinches the sky with its luminosity, it seems that tonight the darkness of my eyes chilled me. I tried to hide from this shoulders but solitude came so near in front of my nose that I couldn't even seize the air. For a while, I scanned the story that started it all - so many secrets now all revealed, halfway I couldn't believed that Someone with the name -------(say X) will put all the meaning of the words "Life is Worth Living For". Deeply, inside her thoughts I don't even know her - all I knew behind that silent smile I can hear the world roaring, eyes that showed true colors of rainbow and powerless presence that made me weak every time she passed me by. I found something on her, till now I don't even know what it is. Friends kept on asking me "why?" and "what's with 'X' that made me so in to her?", I just tossed a smile and stopped for a while, I think even if I go beyond my human power - really I cant find any answer to their questions. It's been so long since I felt this, I paid out million of nights and days asking myself and heaven's above; from all the rest in the crowd, why she? Many times, when I almost lost my courage and hope, the simple thing I know that eased me was to lock her inside my thoughts and heart. One thought of her makes me wanna dance again with the cruel game of life. She's one of the reasons why I believe in another morning and falling star. Going back to college days, I woke up early am hoping to grasp my friendly falling stars who grant my every wish - wishing to see her the soonest I step back to my place from chittoor town. The moment i saw her,In no language could ever translate how thankful I am to God, being so lucky He has given me this kind of life. For an hour, I defined life beautiful.

Chapter 2: The Voice of Miracle

Who would miss the movie of Pinocchio? Yes, miracles are made from the heart. The first time I met my miracle was when I got the shock in my 1st year college days. I supposed not to belong in that class room for God knows I didn't join my friends who enrolled Electonic subject, I stood up ready to go out from that class when I saw 'X' in front of the door and I was so amazed when my teacher mentioned my name and said I should stay coz I enrolled (daw) the computer subject. As if I heard million of angels laughing and crying for me; laughing coz they're happy for me - happy to sing me new lullaby's everyday but crying coz they knew that would be the beginning of my heart pumping in my stomach, comes up to my throat and everyday will choke me. In my 3rd year college days, when 'X' still my classmate Thanking God wasn't enough to say for that was another miracle for me, Fate stroked me miraculously, when my doctor informed us that I'm dying - malignant stage because of the inflammations of veins in my neck and in my brain. But that wasn't hard for me to accept it, the fact that part of me is rejoicing - the belief that I could come back soon through reincarnation made me so happy and hopeful. The thought that I'll be gone pushed me to call 'X' on the phone, as I dialed her numbers my mind filled with prayers, wishing and hoping that for the last time I could hear her voice - coz when I die and raise from the grave, I still want to look for that voice again and again. It took me awhile to discover myself swimming the Idian Ocean; I sweat a rain with that 5 minutes conversation and felt so good - so new. I never knew, miracle happened in just a phone call - in just one voice - in just one person - in just one 'X'.. coming back into this world was so easy. After that incident, I was healed, and X was God's hand-made instrument to save me.

Chapter 3: Strangers and a Dreamer

Years gone by so fast, many strangers came into my life and one of them become part of my journey. Stand by me in times of trouble and teach me more how to understand life. She'll knew where I placed her in my heart and the things I can only give her - because of 'X'. Friends say, I wasted the chance to be loved. As I looked back the past and all the goodness she've done to me, I might say, " Yes I did! But somehow I have no regrets; I gave her all the love and respect I could define. Though I tried to move on, find someone outside more than 'X' but the story starts over and over again when all the strength I invested to change my heart still didn't work coz everytime I see her I forgot the names of the people I met. Being loved by someone is flattering and an achievement - but no one compares to the happiness when we love someone without asking and expecting something in return.

If I believe in fairy tales then maybe my feet sets on fire while she is dancing in my dreams(lol!). I only sleep maybe because I dreamed about her - she's always been the author of my every dream . Great dreamer? Maybe I am, coz in my real world 'X is the distant bright star and I am the poor crawling worm learned to look up the sky. God knows after a decade of keeping and nursing this feeling, I'm still happy having this feeling until now. 'X' was my past., my present. and one of the reasons why I still want to wake up in my tomorrows. 'X' brought so much joy and good in my life though she never knew it but I can't afford to replace or re-arrange my happiness in just a wave of magic wand - growing old with the stuff inside my chest is my greatest obsession. I'm contented throwing up only glances to my 'X', the happiness it brings to me is more than enough. (To be continued........)