?.............?

When I try my best I dont succeed
When i get what i want but not what i need
When I feel so tired but i can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down my face
When i lose something i can't replace
When i love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide me home
And ignite my bones
And can Yo l try to fix me ?

And high up above or down below
When Im too in love to let it go
But if I never try I never know
Just what my worth.

WoRkInG FoR It

Here's a semi-related follow up question:

I understand that a relationship takes work. It's not always going to be about "happiness". Love is deeper, takes commitment, compromise etc. In other words, sometimes you're going to be miserable, but you have to trust that you made the right long-term decision that this person was worth it, and struggle through.

But to what extent is that true in the beginning of a relationship? Obviously you shouldn't commit to a relationship with somebody who makes you miserable, even sometimes. But on the other hand, you can't expect to be in love with the person right off the bat either. In the beginning, it's much more shallow, so I think it's legitimate to ask how "happy" you are to be around this person.

Here's the scenario: I met a guy last night I really like. Have liked him for years. And I think, in the long term, we'd be quite compatible. He's somebody I could potentially see being worth it to struggle through some hard times with.

However, in the short term, I have already ceased to feel that giddy happiness to be around him all the time. In some cases, I'd even rather hang out with one friend or another than with him. And that concerns me. If somebody is the right one for a relationship, shouldn't I still be in that ecstatic crush stage? I definitely was, with him, when I met him years ago. And then I was, again, when we re-united about 2 years ago. I still liked him and wanted to pursue him even after it wore off. I still like him and want to pursue him now. But sometimes I find myself thinking "Meh, I'm going to pretend I had a prior commitment so I can hang out with X friend instead."

So, have I reached the "compromise" stage too early? Am I asking myself to WORK for a relationship earlier than I should? Shouldn't it still be natural and easy at this point? Or is it legitimate to have friends that make me "happier" on a shallow, short term basis, and still work for a relationship with somebody else? Or maybe is it that I'm kidding myself, and despite having patiently pursued him for 3 years, I don't really like him that much?

Lost in Life...?

A fading hope and a broken dream

Is all there is for me

It's all there was and will ever be

And I keep falling further down

I lost in this life, yeah it's I

I've been living a lie

Time keeps passing me by, but i can't deny

I've been lost all the time

There's no way to cope for these wasted years

Nor for these long lost tears

I'm giving in to all my fears

As I keep falling further down

TeRmInAtOr AgAiN.....

I saw a screening of Terminator: Salvation today. My friends anvesh and naveen were able to get tickets and join me, which was nice. I arrived at the theater at 3:50 for the 7:00 start time, and was 89th in line in Mayajal multiplex.
Now for the movie: I really liked it! I had just a few misgivings going in, as I wasn't really a fan of Terminator 3; I think it had lost its way after the second movie. I also couldn't get into the TV series , although my friend aarunya likes it so much, I'll probably check out the Blu-Ray's and see if I like it better.
This movie is set completely in the year 2018. No time travel, although there are the expected references to John Connor prophecy and a glimpse of the famous photograph of Sarah Connor when played by Linda Hamilton. In this movie, as I'm sure you're aware by now, John Connor is played by Batman himself, Christian Bale. I thought he did an excellent job. When this movie takes place, John is the leader of his cell in the Resistance against the Machines, although he has to take orders from the head honcho, General Ashdown, played by a personal favorite of mine, Michael Ironside.
His father, who, through the wonders of time travel is much younger than John, is played by Anton Yelchin, who also was just seen as Pavel Chekov in Star Trek. His character, Kyle Reese, is hoping to join the actual Resistance, but for now, just leads his two-person team in defending Los Angeles. That is, until he meets Marcus Wright (well!!.i dont remember his actual name), a stranger who shows up and starts kicking machine .
The lighting of the movie made everything look very bleak and desolate and lent itself nicely to the machine oppression of the humans. A couple of surprises near the end were very cool.

My SoUl

Stars are shinning in your eyes

And I begin to realise

That our path through times unbroken

Do you know what it's like

When a mirror never lies

And the truth remands unspoken

And we dance into the fire

'Cause our spirits take us higher

Do you feel me now

Burning like a flame

If you touch me

I may disappear

Floating through your eyes

How do we resist

The gravity of love

In the symphony of life

There's a place I've never been

Where there's angels gathering

and they talk about the future

When the simple things in life

Can do more to satisfy

Let the wisdom be my teacher

You can have all that you desire

But it may not take you higher

Do you feel me now