!!!! Another !!!!

I finally came out to my childhood best friend! He was probably in the top 10 most important people I had to come out to. For those of you just tuning in, my policy on coming out (in a nutshell) is that I'm fine with the grapevine taking care of it for the most part, as long as certain important people hear it from me first. I told my parents first because I was most afraid of them finding out from somebody else.

The grapevine is heating up, and my friend was one of the few on that short list, so I had to take care of it before it got to him. He was down in vellore for Christmas, so I invited him out to see my place and have dinner. I was still sick, so I ate exactly one noodle of my pasta. He was actually finished eating by the time it fit nicely into the conversation.

We'd been through the expected topics, and then he asked "so what else is new?" And I said "Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to finally tell you I'm not into any relation." He smiled almost imperceptibly, and I said "it probably comes as no surprise, I can guess, " And he said that he had suspected it ever since I stopped talking to him about my class girls months ago. He'd never wanted to ask me because he figured that if I was ready to talk about it, I'd have told him. In keeping with our conversation earlier, I wish he had.

He asked all the expected questions. Interestingly, he asked about a couple of my really hot college friends he'd met. He couldn't believe I hadn't wanted them. But I just wasn't in that mindset when I was friends with them! It was hard to explain, but I think he got it.

And by the way, since you're probably wondering, it wasn't nervousness that made me sick. Interestingly, I hardly felt nervous at all this time. I had the usual butterflies I'd have for any exciting event. But it wasn't scary to come out to him. For one thing, I knew he would take it well; he's been like a brother for over 10 years.

And more importantly, I felt it didn't matter even if he didn't take it well. I'm so sure now that being out is what's right for me that it just doesn't matter if somebody reacts badly. I have finally come to the point where I actually believe that old line "If he doesn't support you, he wasn't worth having as a friend anyway."

I guess that's easy to say because nobody has ever taken it badly, and I don't expect anybody to. Maybe if I really do lose a friend, I will be devastated and all this confidence will go out the window. But I hope not. I hope I never have to find out!

I'm just happy that I had another success

Happy New Year!