Self help

Good time out with friends today.

I’ve learnt to close an eye to things that would use to irritate the hell out of me, I’m nobody’s parent or principal. If people be late, they be late. I read my book. If people are weird about money, they are weird about money. My take is, I can always earn more money.

When I have kids, I’d be very careful about who their friends are. Given time and contact, youngsters begin to adopt the values and behaviors of their peers. Sizing up someone’s friends and associates will give you a pretty reliable indication of his or her character. It’s the thin slice: We get a good idea of who a person is by the friends she makes and the books he reads.

I’m very wary of those who profess religious beliefs, high morals and ethics overly much. political games.

Some general observations from all about — 'A' thinks she can get away with little impatient comments that betray her trying to get 'X' down, always peppering her “interested” intelligent questions with just that slight put-down. Always on impeccable behaviour with others whom she thinks are “above” her in social status though. B is not sophisticated about that streak of calculativeness, has need to appear financially successful. C is pretty comfortable with himself, I like him. D is just bored with her life and seeking distraction, seems pretty trustworthy, though. E is very sensitive, very touchy, has external locus of control. I try not to ask too many questions as he seems a bit evasive with some questions: avoiding embarrassment, conflict, the truth, or an emotionally difficult subject?

And me: I’ve to learn to take criticism gracefully and not like a personal attack. Have got to learn patience, and stick-to-it-iveness: tend to get overexcited about new things when I’ve already got a lot on my plate. Have to learn not to overextend myself, and say “no” gracefully. Have to remember not to be so judgmental: we never see the whole story about a person’s life — in any case I’ll leave the judging to God.

Don’t be attention-grabbing conversation-steerer. It reeks of self-centredness and being insecure. Hone listening skills. Don’t interrupt others. Excuse myself when I feel drained.

Always back talk with action.

Also losing one’s temper is a bad habit; rein in, rein in, rein in that temper.

I also don’t like that streak of free-floating defensiveness that’s creeped up in my talk. “Just an engineering student” “Just going to get a useless degree from JNTU”: Granted I’m pretty self-deprecating, but beneath it all is anger — I don’t feel that people here respect me for reading . Why this desire for social recognition? Is it because I truly feel that teachers, educators, public servants deserve more recognition; or am I just angry that Iam lower in comparison to others ? I think this is a hot button issue with me, and I want to be clearer about why so. Is there guilt? Embarrassment? Anger? Why? Am I feeling some sort of regret or deep unhappiness with my life?

*

Exaggeration: Person is insecure and trying to get noticed. If you had a bad experience at the hospital a few years back, she had an even worse one. If you know a great french restaurant, she knows the world’s best. Besides being insecure, people who engage in this type of exaggeration are often trying to control the conversation and the behaviour of those participating in it.

Some people express themselves in extremes not because they want to control others’ behaviour but because that’s how they see life. The positive thinkers include those who are sincerely thrilled to be alive and who express their enthusiasm at the drop of a hat. But there are also people who adopt a jovial attitude in an attempt to disguise a deep disappointment with life or in an effort to change, or at least ignore, their fate through sheer force of will. It’s hard to tell between someone who’s truly joyful and one who has adopted a sunny facade. Sometimes someone who’s overcompensating will let down her guard, revealing her anxiety or sadness with a passing comment or facial expression.