Hey No Worry,You Are Unique In your Way

Do you know who the happiest people are? Those who just accept themselves the way God made them, who learn to be happy with what they have and are not overly concerned about what others think. Struggling to live up to what you think others expect of you puts a real weight on you, but there's freedom in humility.

If you were honest, I think you'd admit that you really admire people who have the courage to just be themselves, rather than try so hard to be something they're not in order to fit in or impress others. Of course, those who make such decisions and take such stands often face loneliness and a feeling of isolation from others around them, which is sad.

You know, when I was young I didn't like the way I looked. I thought I was too fat and ugly. I had quite an inferiority complex about that, and it took me a long time to get over it. Part of it was my pride, and part of it was comparing. But then as I grew older, I realized it really didn't matter. I understood that the Lord made me the way He wanted me, and that He made me that way because He loved me.

He loves you the way He made you, and you're beautiful in His eyes. We're all unique and special. In His eyes there is no ugliness, no matter what we look like.

Building self-esteem often has a lot to do with your relationship with your loved ones. The closer you draw to them and the more at peace you are with them, the more content and at peace you'll be with yourself, the happier you'll be, and the more relaxed you'll be. When you're living close to them, you're beautiful because their love matters.

I have a suggestion for you: Sit down sometime and speak about yourself. Or ask your loved ones to tell you how they sees you, what your inner beauties are, what your inner strengths are, and what gifts and abilities they likes to bring forth in you, that they likes to see shine for others. Let them encourage you, and you'll find that you can actually be quite happy being God's unique creation.

No Need to Experience Extreme Suffering to be Deeply Unhappy

As I begin to unfold my own personal story on this blog I relate various low points but I have never been through anything truly tragic. I have never experienced the death of a loved one, or lost the use of my brain, . For that, I am truly grateful - but only now, years later when my perspective has changed.

!!!!!Gratitude Doesn't come easy Always!!!!!

These days when I catch myself feeling sorry for myself it is second nature to stop myself in my tracks and spend 5 minutes thinking about all the things I am grateful for such as my health, my family, the freedom I enjoy with my work, my bike, the fact that I live in a first world country, my friends and I can go on and on.

BUT, when you are in the midst of misery it’s not so easy to be grateful because the human mind is conditioned to focus on the bad stuff. What I found is that when I was unahppy the words of Haritha would echo around my head. She always used to say to me, “There’s always somebody worse off than you”. Yes that’s true but that did not help me one little bit at the time! In fact, it made me feel worse!

When I was suffering in my own way I was in pain for my own reasons. On an intellectual level I knew that things weren’t all that bad and that there were plenty of people worse off than me but knowing that simply made me feel guilty for feeling bad about my own problems! Guilt is one of the worst of the negative emotions and it serves no useful purpose whatsoever. In my life, it has been my biggest demon and I still face it now - it creeps up on me when I don’t notice it.

!!!!!Your Problems Depend On Where You Are!!!!!

There is a concept of a hierarchy of needs. At the very lowest level we need things like food, shelter and clothing. If we don’t have enough food to eat we’re probably not too worried if our job is boring. However as our basic needs become met we turn our attention to the next problem which causes us pain. As humans we need security, we need friendship, intimacy, a sense of meaning and purpose and many other things that vary from person to person.

Whenever we are suffering in some way, it is usually because something that we need is missing. For example, my most pressing problem right now is the breakdown of relationships so this causes a loss of intimacy. I also need to earn more so that I can buy my own things but my need for intimacy is stronger so that has a much greater effect on me than my financial situation. If I was in a happy relationship then my financial situation would probably rise up and demand more attention.Our attention will always be focused on the problem that shouts the loudest. This depends on where we are on that hierarchy but it also depends on our own values. Some people value money far more than relationships .

!!!!Your Problems Are Real To You!!!!!

A danger here is that people put labels on problems, they tend to rank them and say that this problem is ‘worse’ than that problem. This is absolutely false!!!

Your problems are completely real to you and are valid! It doesn’t matter what somebody else may be going through, it is not a competition! If it helps you to think of other people who have ‘worse’ problems than by all means use that to develop some feelings of gratitude for the good things in your life but if those thoughts make you feel guilty then stay away from them as you will only make your own problems worse!


Never let anybody tell you that you’re problems aren’t real, or that you are being silly. You don’t need to experience some tragedy in order to be deeply unhappy. As we move around that hierarchy different problems rise to the surface and whatever they may be, they are real for us at the time. I spent years suffering from depression for ‘no real reason’, but of course there was a reason - I was extremely unsatisfied with my career aspect and desperately felt like I needed to be doing something different.

!!!!!Move Ahead!!!!!

What can happen is that people become ’stuck’ in their problems by continuing to focus on them in a negative way and then never move forward. This can be the time when friends and family tell you to snap out of it. Again, this can be rather unhelpful if you are not yet ready to move forward.

No matter what the problem is, and whether there is an obvious ’solution’ or not, you can’t move forward until you are ready to do so. Even if there is physical action that you can take that first needs to be preceeded with a change of mindset. This is a personal journey. Nobody can do it for you - you can only do it for yourself and you have to be willing to move forward. Of course, If you are reading this blog then the chances are that you are ready so acknowledge that and congratulate yourself!

There are certain situations that are beyond our control - death for instance. For now, just understand that your problems are real, you are entitled to feel the way you feel and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!

Dealing With Fear Of Change

Before i thought of writing post on my resemblence in coffin i have another little pearl of wisdom that I have been hearing a lot lately is that the fear of change causes us great suffering. Why? Because things are changing all the time, nothing ever stays the same so unless you learn to embrace change you will always be suffering.

This Too Shall Pass

We often hear those words when going through some kind of crisis. It can be very helpful to remember that nothing lasts so no matter what kind of crisis you may be going through, it cannot endure forever. Of course, this also applies to the ‘good stuff’ too and that is where people get themselves into a bit of a pickle.

Looking at my own life, I can see that I am somebody who resists change. I like to get settled, to get myself into a nice routine, surround myself with the familiar and just sit in my little bubble-wrapped comfort zone. The problem is that as soon as I start to get everything into place just as I want it, something will happen to upset my nice balance - something changes.

This has been going on for years and it’s only literally been in the last few months that I finally figured out that it is always going to be like that!

Everything Operates In Phases

Everything in our life expands and contracts, even life itself. As we go through life things change around us. For those in a typical western society it might start with school then perhaps some higher education, getting a job, getting married, having children, mid life (whatever that is!), retirement and so on.

When we fear the new phase it causes us pain. In many cases there’s even a name for this fear such as the “mid-life crisis”! The problem is that the ever changing phases of our life are inevitable. Of course some changes are more subtle than others. For example our bodies are changing all the time so as the days go by we might notice the odd new wrinkle or grey hair but we usually don’t wake up one day and look 18 years older.

Other changes can be a major culture shock - a new job, a child, a relocation, the breakdown of a relationship, a death etc. These are of course much more difficult to deal with but deal with them we must because absolutely everything must come to an end at some point in time.

Everything is Temporary

After You breakup relationship with somebody you will be so traumatised that you was desperate to prevent yourself from ever having to go through that experience again. you can figure that in other relationship , But the thing to be noticesd is "Drowned Ship cannot be brought back"

To start with, no matter how suited two people can be, things can change. Even if I did find somebody who would be perfect for the next 2 odd years, she might get run over by a bus!(damn fucking thought though) Even if we made it to our old age, there would be an extremely high possibility of one of us dying before the other.

Nothing in this world can last forever! No life form, no relationship, no job, no structure, no social status - nothing!

There are some things that do indeed last a very long time but there is still change. Jobs change, people change, friendships change, political parties change, social establishments change, holiday resorts change. Everything, no matter how large or small goes through a natural process of change throughout its existence.

Attachment To Temporary Entities Is a Recipe For Pain

when we become strongly attached to something, we inevitably suffer when we lose it and so when we couple that with the knowledge that everything in this material world is temporary that’s a pretty gloomy way of looking at things!

Or is it? I’ve been reading some books on happiness and one of the principles seems to be that true happiness needs to be found inside of ourselves and now I can see clearly why that is. If our happiness depends on all those temporary things then we will eventually lose something and suffer as a result. If we can learn to experience a deep sense of inner happiness no matter what goes on around us then we will always be happy.

But HOW do we do that?

That is what I have been working on over the last couple of months. What I have found is that knowing that things will change, knowing that people will move in and out of my life, knowing that I get a little older each day has lead me to a certain sense of acceptance. I can just surrender now because I can’t control all that stuff! I know that life will throw me more curve balls somewhere along the line and when it happens I’ll deal with it then.

In the meantime I have stopped worrying about all the stuff I have no control over and just work on what I can control.

!!!!!!!!!!!!! Change!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

As of late my life has been a series of changes, one right after the other. Now, I know change is the way of the world, in fact, it's the very essence of life. We could not get from point A to point B without changing our position. It would simply be impossible. That being understood, I still hate change. Why, if change means growth, maturity, freshness and new beginnings, does it scare me so and make me tremble with fear? I know I am not alone in this sentiment, either. Change causes discomfort and uncertainty, and as a whole, we as humans just don't like to feel uncomfortable.

I have undergone many a change in my life. Looking back, I realize that I could not have gotten to the place I am in today without those changes taking place. Yet even though I realize this, the changes I am going through at this very moment are still making my stomach churn. The anxiety is currently creeping up from the depths of my gut into my throat. Yes, the well-known "anxiety vomit" is most definitely inevitable. But, if change gets me to a better place in my life, than why? Why do I feel such terror?

As any good Son does, I usually ignore my father when he gives me advice or tells me how to better plan for my future. But there is one thing that he has said to me since I was a little Boy that I actually have listened to and remembered all these years, because this one statement has proved to be true time and time again. Whenever I face a new experience and the fear begins to creep in and he notices that tormented look on my face, my dad says to me, "you always think you can't do it, and then, you go ahead and do it. You absolutely CAN do it. Look, you're doing it right now." And when right on the brink of a horribly frightening change those words are of little consolation to me, looking back at every new experience, my dad is 100% right. I can do it, I will do it, and I'm doing it right now.

I started at point A, moved onto point B, and am on my way to point C as we speak

How Can I Fulfill?

I wish I knew better how to let things go and just have faith in life's current, and float. I want to be able to do that, and I've tried really, really hard, many, many times. But the thing is, the minute I start feeling all zen about my present and future, I panic.

How can I leisurely float when getting the things I want and deserve in my life take planning and work? I do believe in the incredible power of thought and attraction, but I also know it takes more than concentrated contemplation to manifest something. It takes effort, organization, fulfillment of goals and thinking things through. And maybe I'm completely wrong, but when I'm laying back, simply flowing and letting things happen as they may, I'm not so much playing an active role in creating the life I want for myself. Am I?

Everyone has goals,Nothing to admire at this, but , I'm frightened by it. Does Everyone are extremely driven and hardworking. If You want to do something, You will. "No" is not an option for You. You'r a doer.You may have ability to make things happen. in fact, at Your young age, Youve may have already accomplished many of Your dreams. Of course You may have a lot more hopes to - make Your WILL - fulfill, and while I am in awe of others determination and ability to not just set a goal, but follow it through to fruition, I am worried about my lack of clarity in determining, and thus making happen, my own goals.

Here's One thing: there are many things I want to accomplish in my lifetime. But they're all blurry and indiscriminate. Where as GENIUS'S goals are focused and specific, mine are ambiguous, more metaphorical. They are a fuzzy smudge to theis dark, fine-pointed line. And, as I'm finding, when your goals aren't specific or clear, neither is figuring out how to achieve them. What do I want to do? I want to help people. I want to write. I want to creatively express myself. I want to be a great Dad(dont lol) in future. I want to make a difference. I want to make people's days brighter. These are MUSTS in my life, but beyond being the person who acts on all the above, every single day, I'm not sure where I belong, what my career options are and what paths I should get on.

Because of this, I worry that I won't do all the things I want in my life, and instead, will wind up merely playing a supporting role in the lives of my loved ones. While I want to support my family in becoming the people they want to be, and while I want to be a loving partner and as incredible dad to my future children as my dad is to me, I don't want my own dreams for myself, my life, to fall by the wayside.


My Loved ones's will support me in achieving my dreams, too. I just have to get clear - have a more palpable idea of what they are. I do know, though, that I am not okay with merely being an accessory to someone else's life.